I was brimming with ideas when my dear friend, this blog’s owner, generously asked me to write for a week while she is away on a holiday. Now, I am experiencing the famous writer’s block. But I think it’s just the inertia of not having written in so long a time. So dear readers, consider this my warm up blog and I will be loquacious in the ones after this one.
I have been wondering  about this word – wishy washy today.  Someone close to me said that my belief system is very wishy washy. I experienced a moment of panic. Wishy washy cant be too nice. Its neither here nor there. There is nothing definitive about it. Its neither extreme, or mild. Nor is it good or bad, its almost as if its nothing – insipid. Therefore, one can derive that I must be insipid for believing in something that can be anything and yet nothing. So I immediately called my husband and gave him the third degree – “Do you think all my beliefs are wishy washy??” .
I realised then that, I do this to my parents. A disdainful and” I know better” attitude towards all their beliefs. Do they experience panic that their life long held belief system was under attack? Maybe not, their belief system by now had a solid foundation and a sound structure. Maybe that is what it is; my belief system is very young and feels threatened when under attack. Maybe the belief system in itself isn’t wishy washy but the fact that my belief in my belief system isn’t firm yet. I can be swayed. I can momentarily forget all that I joyfully learnt and collected, I can give in to fear and all of this can happen often. My faith in my own belief system is unsteady and that is what is wishy washy about it.
I feel relieved. My faith has been restored. My belief system is not wishy washy and hence, that must mean that I am not wishy washy.
For those who are wondering what my husband did say – he said no, ofcourse.