It is counter-intuitive, and not readily discoverable, that power is a function of authenticity. By “authenticity” I mean being unmasked, being known in every way we are and in every way we are not.
Being authentic is about exposing, letting ourselves be known by our mistakes, our flaws, our shortcomings, giving up our desire to look good and always be seen in a flattering light. It is also about jettisoning the stories we tell ourselves about our victimhood or helplessness.
Being authentic is not about beating ourselves up. That’s more inauthenticity. Beating ourselves up is usually done in the full glare of others’ eyes, ostentatiously, whereas being authentic is about owning up to what we are hiding.
We are powerful to the extent we are authentic.
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Image: Joan Miró, Ubu the King (1966)
Amen!
People are so afraid that if they let people see the real them, they aren’t going to like what they see. I tell them that there is only light inside. This is such a fear people have! Thanks for this post!
That’s it. We walk around thinking there’s some fundamental badness, some fundamental wrongness about us, something sinister which we live in fear of others seeing, or worse, seeing for ourselves. And the reality is completely other.
I find myself agreeing with everything you post! When we lay ourselves open and own it all, there is nothing for an other person to harm us with. But if we try to hide things from ourselves or others, we become so vulnerable to getting “outed” or to the fear of it.
So well said!
You got it exactly. We live in fear of being outed. We are so fearful we also do pre-emptive outing, as it were, which is another covering up strategy.
I remember, when I met my future husband for the first time and as he was asking me questions about myself, that I suddenly had a flashing thought: “I like this guy, I must show him the real me, not embellish anything”.
Now we just celebrated our 42 anniversary.
I changed that day: being accepted for what one is gives enormous strength. Discovering that at 22 was hitting the jackpot ;)
What a happy flash of inspiration you had that day, Lou. Wonderful! Congratulations on celebrating 42 years of marriage. Well done xx
This is so true Narelle, life becomes less complicated when we are just ourselves and drop the pretence. Have a wonderful and authentic day down under, Russell
And it’s so time-saving as well! Have a wonderful and authentic day where you are xx
I’m so glad my husband of 66 years still likes the “real” me! I dislike being thought of as “that sweet little old lady” by strangers, but then we don’t usually give up the real person to everyone. No one would look at a woman of a much younger age as a “sweet little person”. ( Or maybe not. I absolutely DO have a friend who is a “sweet little person”!) On the other hand, I thoroughly enjoy being catered to in a shopping situation. Wow! is that being “real”? I think there is a duality of sorts going on there!
hehe, I think you’re being real on both counts ;)
Beautiful.
Once we are out of the cocoon, there is NO turning back! Xx