My friend, A, recently did The Landmark Forum and we’ve been having lots of fun discussing how its effects are showing up in our lives.
One of the ways it’s showing up for her was demonstrated in an incident that occurred yesterday morning (Sunday here), all before 8am.
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A had to drive her husband to an appointment in the city. It being early, and she being six and a half months pregnant and at the stage of letting it all hang out, which stage she’d tell you she’s been in since the month dot, she threw on the first thing that came to hand, a dress one rung above a nightie, and headed off in the car.
She dropped off her husband and turned for home. About 5km away, some police at the side of the road signalled her to pull over. She got out of the car, a bit nervous, and asked them what the matter was. The policeman said her car’s registration number had set off an alarm in their scanner. Turned out her car’s registration had been cancelled.
“Cancelled?” she said.
“Yes,” said the policeman, “if the car’s registration is not renewed, after a certain time, it’s cancelled.”
“And your registration …” the policeman went on, walking around to check the registration sticker on the window,
… expired in March 2010.
All of a sudden it occurred to A that that was when she and her husband had moved from another state. The registration must have got overlooked during the moving. Not only had she overlooked it then, she’d overlooked the out of date sticker on the front window for almost two years.
She explained what had happened to the policeman and apologised.
I’m so sorry, I completed overlooked it.
She also explained she’d lived in Australia for four years, after emigrating from the UK, and she was not clear about the registration process and the registration stickers.
She apologised again and asked,
What happens now?
“Well,” said the policeman, “we have to seize your car immediately, and normally, we’d issue you a $600 fine. However, your driving record is good, you’ve had no other fines or offences so this time we’re not going to fine you. We’ll just take the car to the depot and drop you at home.”
Now avoiding the fine was one thing, but here’s where A’s new training really kicked in.
She proposed an alternative plan to the police. She proposed that she drive her car to a mechanic near her home where the police could remove the registration plates. The police could take the plates away as proof of effective seizure, and she could just walk home from there.
And would you believe it? The police agreed and they all did exactly as she proposed.
As the police were about to drive away from the mechanic’s with her registration plates, she thought again about walking home and decided to put to them one last request.
Actually, it’s really hot, so I’m wondering if you could drop me at home. It’s just around the corner …
The policeman looked at her funny, and said “yes, but …” And then she realised it meant she would have to ride in the back of the police van.
Not deterred she duly climbed into the back of the van, the province of the crims, and a short time later emerged again, nightie-like dress hoisted up, waved nonchalantly to the neighbours who just happened to be in their front garden at the ungodly hour, and opened her front door with her watch showing 8am.
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After a very good laugh, we contemplated how at each point after getting pulled over she had had things go her way. At each point she had had a choice about getting annoyed or resentful, a choice about making the police wrong for the inconvenience or humiliation she might have felt she’d suffered, and at each point she had chosen otherwise.
She fully acknowledged her mistake, apologised and then kept creating new alternatives with people – officers of the law – who can’t have been used to having others propose alternatives to them. What’s more, they can’t have been used to carrying them out, and yet they did.
Magic.
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