If I don’t manage to fly, someone else will.
The spirit wants only that there be flying.
As for who happens to do it,
In that he has only a passing interest.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
The greatest source of misery in our relationships with others is the Unsaid, that which is there to say and which we have withheld. “They won’t be able to handle the truth”, we tell ourselves, creating others as small, fragile and uncommitted to the truth. Or, “They already know”, we say. Take it as read: they don’t.
Consider that we have freedom, power and self-expression in our relationships to the extent we have emptied out the Unsaid. While ever there is some Unsaid, our freedom, power and self-expression is diminished and thus, the joy and satisfaction of our relationships.
Emptying out the Unsaid doesn’t mean articulating every tiny thought that crosses our mind. The Unsaid is a very distinct realm and has a distinct quality, one of withholding, justified withholding.
The thing about the Unsaid is that it persists until it is moved to the Said. It can, and frequently does, persist beyond death. Like Rilke’s spirit wanting flying, it doesn’t care who happens to do it or when or how it happens, all it cares is that it’s moved to the Said and that there be freedom.
Image: Rilke and his last lover, Baladine Klossowska, Switzerland, 1923