Our delicious future


Once upon a time, there was a university professor researching the proposition that people’s happiness depends on the amount of sex they have. He gathered his subjects in a room and asked:

Hands up who has sex five times a week.

A group of people put up their hands, and they were smiling and looking pretty damn pleased with themselves. The professor went on.

Hands up who has sex once a week.

Another group of people put up their hands, and they looked moderately happy and content with their lot. “So far, so good”, thought the professor.

Then he noticed one old man up the back. The old man was exhilarated and joyous and beaming from ear to ear. Everyone could see this man was very, very happy. The professor asked, “How often do you have sex?”

The old man replied:

Once a year. And tonight’s the night!


This anecdote perfectly illustrates what I was trying to say in my post about the future: that, despite appearances, it’s the future we’re living into (not our pasts) which give us our experience of life in the present; and, when we invent possibilities and plans that touch, move and inspire us, it is their effect on our lives now, in the present, that matters.

I see now there was something missing from my attempts at communication: the sex!!!


* Anecdote adapted from Living Powerfully, Landmark Education

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20 thoughts on “Our delicious future

  1. There is always possibility in the future! Never stop looking for it. Good advice for those suffering from a loss.


  2. Excellent this transformation of yours! And yes I can dig it enough to say, sexy as well. Though a bit sad that sex has now gone full circle, from the, say Victorian era showing of the ankle, to just about full frontal nudity in all aspects of visual communication ( and I’m the furthest thing from a prude you’ll ever know) if they think it will sell their pots & pans, grandma’s bloomers or chewing gum.

    Maybe just a bit of over-exposure one might say…but enough to let all the cuckoos out in the open to do threatening damage (i.e. rapists and related types) on the one hand, and on the other rendering the average human blase enough from over-exposure, to have removed the mystique, mystery, and the pleasure of discovery in this most beautiful aspect of life…sex. That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it! JJ xxx


    • JJ, this post has everything and nothing to do with sex.

      PS. Buckle your seatbelt because you may not like this either. For me, there’s something more degrading than sexual rubbish, and that’s opinion. “Is this good or bad?” “Do I like this or not like this?” “Do I approve or disapprove?” “Is this for me or against me?” I sometimes indulge in opinion, and it never fails to have me experience myself as diminished and miserable.


      • Not at all do I mind. Because you like everyone else has opinions. Proof positive is that you have just given one on finding opinion more degrading than sexual rubbish. Also because I have been around too long not to have opinions if only to make positive choices. As well you have given me all kinds of opinions in your writing, as on mine, some outright, some subtle enough to be barely noticeable, but opinions nonetheless. JJ xxx


      • Like I said, I get stuck in opinions sometimes, many times actually. It doesn’t shake my commitment to giving up judgement and evaluation, all the stories and meaning-making by which we human beings make ourselves sick.

        This blog is an example. I cannot even imagine what a blog could look like if opinion were to be given up, and yet I know it’s a commitment worth pursuing and one I want to be involved in trying to create.

        It’s far far more than this too. I am committed to creating a WORLD in which opinion is given up. And here’s what that would represent: it would represent the transformation of what it means to be human! That’s what I’m up for here, and in my life, and in the world.


      • A very noble undertaking indeed, and I admire your courage for this uphill pursuit. But me thinks ye seek perfection among a world of imperfect so-called humans, myself included, which based on the progress in my lifetime so far, sadly it ain’t gonna happen. In the meantime I’m afraid we have little choice but do the best we can with the variety interpretations opinion carries, non of which are absolute.

        For that reason, your reference to my original comment on your article as to being an opinion, rather than an observation, which it was, of man’s development, good or bad, depending on social influences and education, treating sex and sexual behavior, ergo daring from ankle exposure Victoria times, to blatant degrading commercial, and even gross nudity of today, was not an opinion, but the reality of what we see, hear and read, anywhere and everywhere non stop on this planet.

        What I was trying to say, was that man has taken something beautiful and made it ugly, as he has manage to do in his self-serving quest, with so much of our world. JJ


  3. I concur. Living in the past is not living at all. But I try not to invest too much time living in the future either (although that is the better place to be if I can’t say in the present). The future is full of possibilities–all kinds–so I spend my time dreaming of the wonderful stuff that might happen or worrying about the crap that might happen. Key word: “might.” If only I could stay in the present. I sort of know what’s happening here and now. Sort of… ;)

    By the way, love that joke! :)


    • I take that as high praise coming from the queen of funny ;)

      I haven’t quite communicated what I’m trying to say about possibility. It’s incredibly subtle, incredibly powerful. Some people would say it is uncommunicable, that it can only be discovered or experienced. Anyhow, I’m going to keep on attempting it because I can’t think of anything more worth the attempt.

      It has to do with how we hear the word possibility. When we hear the word, we usually hear “probability” and that’s not what I mean. The kind of possibility involved in inventing futures that touch, move and inspire us has nothing to do with success or failure; in fact, it has nothing to do with the future (boy! Doesn’t that sound Zen? And yet it is exactly so.)

      It also doesn’t invalidate being present; in fact, it has everything to do with being present (I distinguish between The Present and being present; the former is an illusion, just like The Past or The Future).


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