Went to visit my friend, M, last week. I met M five years ago and we disliked each other on sight.
I saw an attention-seeking bimbo and she saw a stuck-up bitch, and we were both spot-on. We met when we did the Landmark Forum together, and by chance or fate, we ended up doing the two subsequent courses together too. I’d walk in on the first morning of a new course, all eager and excited and then I’d see her. “Not her again,” I’d think. Meanwhile, she’d be doing the same.
Over a period of about six months, we put up with each other, or not, at least once a week. She’d turn up late, sit up the back with her arms crossed while either arguing or sulking and then, most nights, she’d leave early because of some “crisis”. She had a tiny frame and obviously fake breasts which I used to call the “puppies” and which were always on the verge of being let out for a play.
Sometime in the third course which extended over a period of 3-4 months, something started shifting. By that stage, we’d had several months of this transformation stuff and it was starting to have a lasting effect. We were becoming softer, more simple, starting to give up our fixity and righteousness.
After the third course, unexpectedly, we stayed in touch. And a few months after that we realised we’d become friends.
In the four years since, we’ve continued to grow closer and there have been many times when I’ve been moved to tears by who she is, and by her lovingness and courage. We love and admire each other, and often laugh about our first childish hatred.
When I was at her place the other night, she said a beautiful thing.
I was telling her about my new coaching practice and how much I was enjoying showing other people how to write and communicate. I said I felt a big sense of mastery and ease, and I was wondering why I hadn’t thought of it earlier and also, what had changed so that it suddenly occurred as something to do. And M said,
It’s because you’re no longer pretending or covering up. I’m still pretending in a few areas of my life, still not being real. You’re not doing that now. That’s why.
That’s another thing about M. She is generous and can nail something in a flash. Some bimbo.